Lately, my life's pace has been.... mmmm.... meandering. Maybe even a little lilting. For well over a month, I've had the absolute luxury of time - to read, to explore vineyards and state parks and tourist destinations, to visit my oldest friends and closest family, to take photographs and to write. Without the usual hum of activity and to-do lists and obligations, it seems that my vision is clearer. Like the click click at the optometrists office, when the right lens, then the left, are finally set and the bottom row of the chart crystallizes, eyes lucid and wide open.
This, of course, doesn't mean that I can see into the future. No, in fact - far from it. I am exploring options in San Diego, Northern California, and even back on the East Coast. And I've literally no idea where I will end up. But there is an ease about not knowing that is surprising.
Some of that ease can be traced to a couple of hours I spent on the floor of my living room over a year ago. At the time I was very happy... enjoying work, friendships and life. But I also had a lingering unsettled feeling. Friends, acquaintances and colleagues began asking... "What is it you want in your career?" and "Do you want a family?" and "Where do you want to be and live?" I realized, I didn't have those answers. Where was the inner dreamer that had led me thus far, that always had me striving for what's next? The next job, the next home, the next, the next! After winging it through life quite successfully for a very long time... at last, I was the one who wanted to know the answers.
And so it was that I decided to take over as the captain of my ship for a little bit, beginning with an hour on my living room floor. I straddled dozens of little slips of paper with hand-written words on them. The words were from a list of values that I'd read online: Family, Service, Possessions, Freedom, Success, Spirituality, Adventure, Creative Expression, Love, Money etc. etc. My job was to sort through them. This is what any self-respecting, perfectionist, self-help devotee would do... No?
So here is my own magic pyramid...
- PEACE - inner... always
- HEALTH - total
- LOVE - the "big rocks" and my future partner in crime
- COMFORT - home, garden, "hood", 401k, financial stability, job I love
- ADVENTURE - new places, new ways of seeing things
- SERVICE - find a way to help... always
- CREATIVITY - write, photograph, make cards, share it
My True North helps direct my actions every day. When I feel any type of interpersonal confrontation brewing, I try to remind myself swiftly that my own sense of inner peace trumps being right or wrong every time. When I'm looking at a particular job opportunity that "should" sound ideal, yet my inner sense of adventure and service doesn't ignite... I let it go. When I should be working on a freelance assignment, but my sister calls and asks me to come visit her and the family in Lake Tahoe...I say simply say yes. She is a "big rock" forever and always.
I find it interesting how such a small moment last year with a bunch of little cards, has made such a big difference to the trajectory of my life. I'll admit to it... bouncing through life is a fun way to go. But it is also nice to look out across the water and say... YES, THAT IS WHERE I AM HEADED. And of course, I can change course anytime.
As always, I wish you happy trails on your adventures of the soul and around the planet!
